Why they Won't Help...You!
India White • October 22, 2021
Why They Simply Won't Help You Succeed- Dr. India White

Why They Won’t Help….YOU! – Dr. India White
Have you ever been around someone in the same area of influence as you and knew that they had expertise and you desired it? Have you asked them for support, and they smile sweetly, only to leave you hanging? Well, the truth is that…they’re not going to help you.
Now, I know this is painful to receive. But, let me help you navigate this with comfort. There are some things that you must understand. People are dealing with various things, even successful ones. Sometimes they meet someone like you and there’s something about you that rubs them wrong, or that they feel threatened about.
I’m sure David in the Bible (1st Samuel 16) was broken hearted to learn that his brothers hid him from being chosen for the anointing. The fact that they presented EVERY OTHER possibility, but David speaks volumes. You might deal with this, when the very people who could select you hide you and try to shut you down. But be encouraged; nobody can stop God’s destiny for your life!
Take a look at Joseph (Genesis 37:12-36).
He was sold into slavery, thrown into a pit. Then, he was lied on, and thrown into prison. However, he still ended up 2nd in charge as governor! You might have been betrayed by your brothers; however, your promise is still looking good in the eyes of God!
Here are some tips to help you understand the silent no behind why they aren’t helping you.
1. They’re protecting themselves
– Sometimes, leaders get into various positions of promotion and they have an image to protect. Other times, they are dealing with politics beyond their imagination. If they move the wrong way, it could destroy them. It’s nothing about you per se, it’s just that their mental and emotional battle is too much.
2. They struggle with insecurities
– Leaders are still human. Some of them have never mentored before and might find it strange spending time with you. I will also mention that if you are dealing with a mentor prospect that is not your ethnicity, it makes it tougher.
3. Jealously is as cruel as the grave (Song of Solomon 8:6); envy rottens the bones (Proverbs 14:30)
– Now, I just have to keep it real here. Just because they are leaders doesn’t mean they won’t deal with jealousy and envy. It’s unfortunate but true folks. Some people feel like they don’t want to see you rise above their status, or be elevated to high up beyond them. This is confusing I know, but it exists. Some people want to “be on top”, or they feel like you are inferior to others due to your race, gender, background or etc., and that’s why you should not excel beyond a particular level.
4. Their circle will not receive you
– Let’s admit it; some leaders deal with other powerful people. With you around, they might feel like you will lessen the power, superiority, socioeconomic status or wealth of that circle. They will feel rejection, and that’s just too much for them to carry.
5. They aren’t called to you- You can meet some phenomenal people who simply aren’t assigned to you. They aren’t equipped for you. Look at Saul and David in the Bible (1st Samuel 17: 32-40). Saul offered his armor, but it didn’t work. Some giants and assignments you are tasked to defeat, these mentors aren’t skilled to help you beat them the way you need to. Remember this.
6. They have another plan in mind
– Unfortunately, there are hidden agendas in which people strive to pass on their leadership to someone in their circle, someone of their race or socioeconomic status, and you simply don’t fit the cut. They have someone else in mind, and there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. Don’t take it personal; continue to develop yourself and wait for the right people to come.
In conclusion, you should never have to BEG to feel accepted; You shouldn’t have to prove ANYTHING about your worth. People that are assigned to you will see it and will count it an honor. Further, is there anything too hard for the Lord? He’ll do it, with or without their consent. So, choose to forgive as you gain understand to why….they simply won’t help you. Best wishes to you. Now GO and be GREAT!

From Rotten Moments to Sweet Blessings: What Banana Bread and Fermented Foods Teach Us About Life Sometimes life hands us what feels like rotten bananas; situations that seem spoiled, broken, or beyond hope. Maybe it’s a tough season of loss, failure, disappointment, or uncertainty. Yet, just like those overripe bananas transform into delicious banana bread, or milk ferments into nourishing cheese and yogurt, our "rotten" moments have the power to turn into something sweet and life-giving. Why Rottenness Can Be Good In the culinary world, fermentation, a process that uses “rottenness” to transform foods , creates some of the healthiest, most flavorful staples we enjoy: yogurt, cheese, sauerkraut, kimchi, and more. This “rottenness” isn’t waste; it’s a powerful agent of change that unlocks nutrients, improves digestion, and promotes health. Similarly, life’s difficult seasons are not the end. They are part of a process— a fermentation of our character, faith, and grit When we lean into these moments with grit—great resilience in time—we develop strength, wisdom, and sweetness in our souls that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. 7 Ways to Overcome a Negative Mindset and Embrace Grit in Rotten Seasons 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Defeat It’s okay to feel hurt, frustrated, or discouraged. But remember, these feelings don’t define you. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” 2. Shift Your Perspective to Growth View challenges as opportunities for learning and growth. Romans 5:3-4 reminds us, “Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Just like looking at a bunch of rotten bananas can seem discouraging until you shift your thinking and see them as a perfect ingredient for banana bread, choose to see your moments of rottenness as a game changer for your destiny! 3. Practice Patience Through the Process Good things take time— like fermentation and baking . Wait on God’s timing. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything.” Think of how spoiled milk seems disgusting and gut wrenching, until you learn of how wonderful of an ingredient it becomes for homemade cheese! Trust the process, and know that it will all work out in your favor! 4. Cultivate Resilience by Staying Connected Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage you to keep going. Galatians 6:2 teaches, “Carry each other’s burdens.” Sometimes, that person might be the catalyst for a new direction, new energy and exponential success. 5. Focus on Small, Consistent Steps Break down overwhelming problems into manageable pieces. Z echariah 4:10 encourages, “Do not despise these small beginnings. ” Don't lose sight on your progress, your identity or your purpose. 6. Renew Your Mind Daily Replace negative thoughts with truth and hope from Scripture. Philippians 4:8 advises, “Think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure.” Remember that God is not dead, and he sees exactly how his plan in your life will manifest. Leave your worries on the throne and know he will justfiy you. 7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection Every small victory is a sign of growth and sweet fruit to come. J ames 1:12 says, “Blessed is the one who perseveres.” Just as you are making banana bread, cheese, yogurt and other wonderful foods, you know that there might be bumps along the way, but keep pressing on! The final product is worth the moments of struggle disappointment and rottenness. You will smile in the end. Conclusion Remember, just as rotten bananas, milk, and vegetables become nourishing foods through a process of transformation, your tough seasons are preparing you for a sweeter, stronger tomorrow . Stay gritty, endure the process, and trust that God is turning your struggles into something beautiful. For more encouragement and practical ways to build grit in your life, visit my website at www.india-white.com . You can also watch my TEDx Talk, The Power of G.R.I.T., for a motivating boost to help you keep pushing through life’s challenges. Keep rising. Keep growing. Your sweetness is coming.

๐ Ready to Get Pumped Up About Life Again? ๐ Listen to my TEDx talk, and let’s reignite that fire inside you! ๐ฅ It’s time to get serious and start making those dreams happen! ๐ช Don’t let anything hold you back—embrace the grit and determination needed to turn your aspirations into reality. Join me on this journey to unleash your full potential! ๐คโจ #drindiawhite #grit #DreamBig #TEDxTalk https://youtu.be/R9YQOtryL7w?si=vvp_rSqMP3J2VNQ_ (I don’t own music copyright)

๐ Exciting News! ๐ I’m thrilled to announce that I’ll be co-presenting at CAMT with the amazing Peter Liljedahl from Building Thinking Classrooms! Join us for our session where we’ll dive into empowering students to transition from perseverance to productive struggle. Let’s transform challenges into growth opportunities together! ๐๐ก #CAMT2025 #BuildingThinkingClassrooms #Education #StudentSuccess #drindiawhite #btc #grit #tedx NCTM - National Council of Teachers of Mathematics NCSM: Leadership in Mathematics Education #camt25 (I don’t own music copyright)

Dear Educators, Principals, and School Leaders, I’m excited to share that my latest newsletter has just arrived, filled with inspiring updates, resources, and tools to support your teams and students in building a culture of G.R.I.T.—Growth, Resilience, Intentional Self-Efficacy, and Time Management. As you plan your professional development sessions, conferences, or school events for the upcoming year, I’d love to partner with you. Whether it’s a keynote, workshop, or interactive training, I specialize in helping educators and school communities cultivate grit, equity, and empowerment in ways that are practical, engaging, and transformational. If you’re interested in having me speak at your school, district, or conference, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be honored to serve your team. You can also explore my speaking topics and G.R.I.T. resources at: www.india-white.com Let’s connect, collaborate, and inspire greatness—together! Here's the link to my newsletter to share: https://www.canva.com/design/DAF_21LSLwQ/sEqABtI7pY0-Gh5vSzQnLg/edit?utm_content=DAF_21LSLwQ&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton Warmly,

Thank You, Nevada Association of School Administrators: Building a Culture of G.R.I.T. Together I want to extend my deepest gratitude to Adam Lane and the Nevada Association of School Administrators (NASA) for the incredible opportunity to speak at your recent conference. It was truly an honor to engage with such passionate, forward-thinking educational leaders who are committed to transforming schools and communities. During our time together, we explored a theme close to my heart: creating a culture of G.R.I.T.—not just in the classroom, but throughout our communities. We unpacked the G.R.I.T. Framework, which focuses on cultivating Growth Mindset, Resilience, Intentional Self-Efficacy, and Time Management in both educators and students. These four pillars are foundational for student success, especially in today’s challenging and ever-evolving educational landscape. We also discussed the critical role educators and school leaders play in modeling and reinforcing these values. From building trusting relationships to ensuring equity and access, educators are the heartbeat of our communities. When we lead with empathy, authenticity, and grit, we empower students to do the same—and we create schools where every learner feels seen, supported, and capable of greatness. To the school leaders, superintendents, and administrators who attended: thank you for your engagement, your insights, and your commitment to building a legacy of perseverance and purpose. I walked away inspired by your stories, your questions, and your unwavering dedication to improving outcomes for all students across Nevada. If you're interested in learning more about the G.R.I.T. Framework or want to access tools like the G.R.I.T. Workbook, I invite you to visit www.india-white.com/what-does-grit-mean-to-you ] And if you missed the session or want to revisit the message, you can also check out my TEDx Talk: The Power of G.R.I.T. Thank you once again, Adam and NASA, for giving me the platform to share this mission and for all you do to champion student success across Nevada and beyond. Let’s continue lifting others as we climb—one gritty step at a time.

Embracing Grit and Community in Education: Strategies and Insights for Teachers As I reflect on both shared and individual childhood experiences, I am reminded of the incredible power of grit, the passion and perseverance that fuel our journeys. Yet, one important question remains: What happens when grit alone isn't enough? In our classrooms, many students face systemic barriers that grit alone cannot overcome. That’s why it’s essential for educators to understand that grit must be supported by community, self-efficacy, and equity-driven practices. Understanding Grit in the Classroom Angela Duckworth defines grit as a sustained commitment to long-term goals despite obstacles. But through my own work and the development of the G.R.I.T. Framework, I’ve found that true grit includes more than persistence. It’s also about Growth mindset, Resilience, Intentional self-efficacy, and Time management—all supported by a strong community and a belief in one’s ability to succeed. To learn more about this approach, check out my TEDx Talk: ๐ฅ [ “The Power of G.R.I.T.” TEDx Talk ] And if you're looking for practical tools to implement in your classroom or school community, you can explore and download the G.R.I.T. Framework and G.R.I.T. Workbook on my website, www.india-white.com ๐ Let’s explore how educators can integrate these principles to help every student not only persist—but thrive. 1. Cultivate a Supportive Community โ
Build Relationships Create a safe, inclusive environment by getting to know your students. Invite them to share their stories and experiences to strengthen classroom trust. โ
Use Storytelling as Empowerment Lean into Rudine Sims Bishop’s concept of mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors—letting students see themselves, others, and opportunities through storytelling. Representation matters. 2. Acknowledge Systemic Barriers โ
Name the Inequities Be honest about the social, economic, and cultural challenges your students may face. Acknowledgment leads to empowerment and helps normalize discussions around equity. โ
Share Your Journey Talk about your own privileges and struggles. Vulnerability builds bridges and shows students that growth is possible; even through adversity. 3. Empower Student Leadership โ
Promote Collective Agency Encourage students to be “ genius influencers ”—train them to see themselves as leaders who support one another and recognize their ability to shape positive change in their communities. โ
Foster Collaboration Group work and peer learning cultivate community resilience and affirm the idea that we rise together. 4. Embrace Culturally Relevant Teaching โ
Make Learning Reflective Design curriculum that reflects your students’ lived experiences and cultures . This combats bias and validates identity for all learners (Ladson-Billings, 1994). โ
Encourage Critical Consciousness Help students think deeply about social justice, equity, and their own role in fostering inclusive environments. 5. Build Strong Mathematical Identities โ
Promote Belonging in Math Create learning spaces where every student—especially those with disabilities or marginalized identities, which this helps students feel capable, celebrated, and seen . โ
Use Real-World Connections Ground math in everyday experiences. When students see how math connects to THEIR world, they’re more likely to engage meaningfully. This helps to eliminate any invisible barriers and mistrust in the classroom. 6. Implement Dr. India’s G.R.I.T. Framework :) โ
Foster Self-Efficacy Help students set achievable goals and celebrate small wins. Confidence grows when students believe their effort matters, and that you believe in them. โ
Build Support Networks Facilitate relationships with mentors, peers, and community members who can serve as allies in your students’ educational journey. (Don't underestimate the power of community) Learn more and access the full G.R.I.T. Framework and accompanying workbook at: ๐( https://www.india-white.com/what-does-grit-mean-to-you) Final Thoughts: My Humanity Is Tied Up in Yours; We're in this Together! The journey of teaching is deeply human. Every interaction we have with students—every lesson, every word of encouragement, every challenge we help them overcome—shapes not only their lives, but our own. Let’s recommit ourselves to teaching with grit, grace, and empathy. Now, here are some Teacher Action Tips for your consideration: Make space for storytelling in your classroom. Reflect on and address systemic inequities regularly. Facilitate peer support systems. Use culturally relevant texts and lessons. Set and celebrate realistic goals with students. Show students they matter—every single day. References Duckworth, A. L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M. D., & Kelly, D. R. (2007). Grit: Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(6), 1087–1101. Sims Bishop, R. (1990). Mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors. Perspectives, 6(3), 9–11. Ladson-Billings, G. (1994). The Dreamkeepers: Successful Teachers of African American Children. Jossey-Bass. White, I. (n.d.). G.R.I.T. Framework. Retrieved from [www.india-white.com](https://www.india-white.com/what-does-grit-mean-to-you) TEDx Talk: [The Power of G.R.I.T.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9YQOtryL7w&t=1s) Together, we can build resilient, empowered learners—one gritty classroom at a time. ๐ช๐ #GRITinEducation #EquityInLearning #CulturallyRelevantTeaching #StudentEmpowerment #TeacherLeadership #GrowthMindset #DrIndiaWhite

๐ Just wrapped up an enlightening session on the sense of belonging at the NCTM - NCTE Joint Conference! ๐ As educators, we explored the crucial distinction between fostering a culture of inclusion versus facing feelings of dejection in our classrooms. It was inspiring to see so many passionate teachers engaged in this important dialogue. Let's continue to strive for acceptance and enrich the learning environment for all students! ๐ #drindiawhite #inclusion #dejection #acceptance #nctm #ncte #LitMath25 #bwxme #NAACP (I don’t own copyright to music or background)