Coping with Shame
India White • February 10, 2022
Coping with Shame...
The SHAME of It All- Dr. India White
Mark 8:38- Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.
Question: Wouldn’t it be sad to be a believer, witness or a minister of the gospel, and fall short of acceptance into the gates of heaven because you caused God shame?
Shame
is defined in the dictionary as, “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior” or “a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honor.”
To have shame towards someone is to be overall disappointed with them. This can be caused from their actions, things you’ve heard about them, and even from various unknown and known biases that you may have towards that person for specific or general reasons.
Through shame, people are unfortunately categorized and silenced. They can become the main topic of gossip. Through shame, people are “buried under the rug”. Shame is an emotional demotion in a social group or setting. Nobody likes shame, but there has been much shame dished out by many due to several reasons. However, millions are coping with shame with no way out. How can they be helped?
When esteeming the worth of an individual, leaders look at their background, what they know or heard about their character. Some leaders can categorize people through shame, can unknowingly hurt people. As people cope with shame, they live in hurt and have no answers. Sometimes, it's without cause.
Through various forms of judgment, shame happens, and rejection enters the picture. Great people who have wonderful hearts endure a silent sense of shame and rejection at the benefit of those around them. Shame can become a burden as they learn to cope with it. Is this right? Of course not.
Through shame, people suffer anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and more. When people who suffer from shame trust in leaders, mentors, pastors, spiritual leaders to help them to start a fresh life, the last thing they should encounter is a sense of shame. They should feel a sense of belonging, a high level of trust, lack of biases, and agape love. However, when leaders are unequipped about how to help others cope, judgement and shame remain in the way.
I want to take you back to the concept of shame in Mark 8. When shame is present, it does not leave a great impression or after effect that occurs during a meeting or transaction with individuals who are receiving the shame. Shame is never a great feeling, and this is why the Lord himself called out the fact that people who put him through shame while they are on this earth will experience that same amount of shame in judgment. Hence, as leaders, we must be careful to make sure that we are not ashamed of the Lord, and or other believers. Our purpose as believers is to help those who have fallen and are wounded to cope.
When we are dealing with the people of God, it is vital to handle everyone with caution. Remember, God is spirit. We sometimes forget this and categorize him as American, "one of the boys", or one of the favored that we fellowship with. However, we must be careful that we are not deceived. God is not a respecter of persons, and is not pleased as some saints live under the burden of shame. Could we bring God shame as we interact with believers and are too ashamed to fellowship with them? Could we bring God shame because we are afraid to tell others about our testimony? Or, what about the fact that some are afraid to assist believers and help believers that have fallen, look different from them and more? To be honest, I do think that this partiality is not of God and can cause any believer to fall short. Therefore, we must be careful to protect and build each other. We must be proactive at helping people cope with and overcome a feeling of shame.
If you have been called to lead in the kingdom of God as a part of the 5-fold ministry, you WILL give an account for everyone God sent to you and what you did to BUILD them. If you were ashamed of them because of various reasons, then you WILL have to face GOD. God will allow you to play church games, and please the crowd; but judgement will come. Here are some tips to avoid the judgment of God and escape the shame of it all:
1. Do away with Biases
a. We all have biases; however, we must be intentional as believers to put these behind us. Take a look at Harvard’s implicit bias test and see what biases you have. Then, follow a plan of action to help you with becoming fair towards EVERYONE.
2. Humble yourself
a. Just because you have been esteemed into a role of ministry or leadership does not mean that you will escape the judgement of God. Scripture says in Luke 12:48 that to “whom much is given, much is required.”
3. Embrace Differences
a. Whether diversity, socioeconomic differences, academic differences and more, choose to embrace the good in everyone that God brings to you. Be delivered from the mindset that these people “don’t matter” more than those people.
4. Pray About Change
a. Sometimes, God can send so many people that you don’t know where to begin. Pray about how to do the will of God towards everyone and how you can cultivate change for the good.
5. Forgive Shortcomings, Pick up Empathy
a. It can be tough to forgive people who "know better" for character flaws, and mishaps in life. However, through forgiveness and empathy, the love of God can begin to warm your heart as you assist them in becoming all that God has designed for them to be. Scripture states in Romans 3:23 that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."
I hope that you can be strengthened and encouraged as you look to escape ministry out of a lens of shame towards others, and how you can be successful in the kingdom of God as you accept everyone. In doing so, may you also escape the shame of it all while restoring believers in the kingdom of God. May we all hear well done, and not be greeted in shame as we face the Lord.
Let’s Get Gritty: 5 G.R.I.T.-Powered Tips for Starting Off the School Year Right The start of the school year is a powerful moment; a fresh opportunity to set the tone, establish relationships, and lay the foundation for student success. This year, I encourage you to launch your classroom with G.R.I.T.: focusing on Growth mindset, Resilience, Self-Efficacy, and Time Management. These four pillars don’t just help students succeed academically—they help you, the educator, lead with clarity, purpose, and confidence. Here are 5 actionable, GRIT-filled tips to kick off your school year strong: 1. Get to Know Your Students Every student comes with a unique story. Taking time to understand their learning styles, goals, and experiences shows them that they matter. This is where growth mindset comes alive—when we believe every student can improve and grow, no matter their starting point. GRIT Tip: Use icebreakers, interest surveys, or one-on-one chats to learn more about each student. Personal connections inspire engagement and persistence. 2. Speak to EVERY Parent or Guardian Strong home-school partnerships build trust and set the tone for collaboration. When parents feel seen and heard, they’re more likely to support and partner with you throughout the year. GRIT Tip: Make it a goal to connect with every family in the first two weeks with a positive phone call, email, or message. This builds your own self-efficacy and shows families that you’re invested in their child. 3. Connect with the Community Students are more resilient when they see how their learning connects to the real world. Whether it’s inviting local leaders to speak or organizing service projects, community connections bring relevance and depth to your teaching. GRIT Tip: Tap into the power of local culture and voices. When students see their community represented in learning, they build pride and purpose. 4. Know the Data Data isn’t just numbers; it’s a guide to help you make intentional decisions. Understanding your students’ strengths, gaps, and growth areas early on helps you manage time wisely and set personalized goals. GRIT Tip: Set aside weekly time to review data and make small, consistent adjustments. Empower students to track their own progress and celebrate wins, big or small. 5. Establish Norms for Success Your classroom culture will shape how students respond to challenges. Create norms that emphasize perseverance, responsibility, and mutual respect. Make these norms student-led and revisit them often. GRIT Tip: Let students help define what success looks like in your space. When expectations are clear and co-created, students feel ownership—and that builds resilience and self-efficacy. Final Thought: This school year, let’s lead with GRIT. Let’s build classrooms where students feel empowered to grow, bounce back, and believe in themselves. When we model G.R.I.T. as educators, we equip students with the tools they need to thrive in every area of life. Ready to bring G.R.I.T. to your school or district? I offer professional development, GRIT trainings for staff and students, keynote sessions, and engaging workshops to help you start strong and stay strong throughout the year. Let’s work together to build a G.R.I.T.-driven school culture! Contact Dr. India White 📧 Email: india.white.123@gmail.com 🌐 Website: www.india-white.com 📱 Instagram/Twitter: @DrIndiaWhite 🎤 Available for: PD Sessions | Keynotes | GRIT Trainings | Student Workshops | Leadership Summits Let’s get gritty and make this year your best one yet!
🌟🎉 Day 2 of the 2nd Annual Black Kids Love Math Summit in Los Angeles was incredible! We heard from amazing experts and inspiring testimonials. I was honored to close out the day with my Ignite session on Grit! 💪🔥 A huge thank you to Yolande, Denise, LAUSD, California teachers, community leaders, and students for your warmth and welcome as we bridge the achievement gap through grit! Together, we rise! 🚀✨ #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #math #ncsm #nctm #bwxme #NAACP #nasbe #aasa #education #teachers #students
🌟🎉 Day 2 of the 2nd Annual Black Kids Love Math Summit in Los Angeles was incredible! We heard from amazing experts and inspiring testimonials. I was honored to close out the day with my Ignite session on Grit! 💪🔥 A huge thank you to Yolande, Denise, LAUSD, California teachers, community leaders, and students for your warmth and welcome as we bridge the achievement gap through grit! Together, we rise! 🚀✨ #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #math #ncsm #nctm #bwxme #NAACP #nasbe #aasa #education #teachers #students
🌟 Part 1 of the Black Kids Love Math Summit in Los Angeles has been beyond my expectations! 🙌 I’ve learned so much about Black history and heard from the greatest Black experts! There is work to be done, but my hope has been rekindled! 💖 It’s time to get gritty about bridging the achievement gap! Let’s do this! 💪✨ #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #nctm #ncsm NCTM - National Council of Teachers of MathematicsNCSM: Leadership in Mathematics EducationYolande Beckles #foryou #savvas #bwxme #naacp (I don’t own music copyright)
🌟 Hey Los Angeles educators! 📚 Join us at the California Endowment Center as we dive into the power of grit and more at the Black Kids Love Math Annual Summit! Let’s inspire and empower our students together! 💪✨ #drindiawhite #lausd #grit
🌟🎉 I can’t wait to see all you incredible Los Angeles educators at the 2nd Annual Black Kids Love Math Summit tomorrow morning ! 🚀✨ I’m super excited to talk about the power of grit and dive into some fun grit workbooks together! 💪📚 Stay gritty, everyone! Let’s do this! 🎊🙌 #drindiawhite #nctm #lausd #ncsm #nabse #bwxme #naacp #aasa (I don’t own music or background copyright)
Let’s Get Gritty at the 2nd Annual Black Kids Love Math Summit in LA! 🔥 🎉 I’m super excited to announce that I’ll be speaking at the 2nd Annual Black Kids Love Math Summit in Los Angeles! This powerful event is all about equity, excellence, and empowering Black students in mathematics—and I’m honored to be part of it. My session will focus on a topic that’s near and dear to my heart: Cultivating G.R.I.T. in the Math Classroom. During this hands-on, engaging session, attendees will: * 📘 Flip through the G.R.I.T. Student Workbook—a powerful tool designed to build Growth mindset, Resilience, self-efficacy, and Time management in students. * 💡 Explore real strategies for integrating grit-building activities into your math instruction. * 💬 Discuss how to support students through productive struggle while helping them develop the confidence to succeed in rigorous academic environments. And then, later that evening... get ready for the IGNITE session! 🔥 We’ll dive deeper into the message that “GRIT is IT” when it comes to student achievement. We’ll talk about how grit transforms classroom culture, closes equity gaps, and turns math challenges into moments of triumph—for every student. Whether you’re a teacher, administrator, parent, or advocate—this is your chance to get inspired, get equipped, and get gritty. 📍Los Angeles, here we come! Let’s empower our students, celebrate their brilliance, and make sure they know—Black Kids Love Math and they can excel in it too. #drindiawhite #grit #LetsGetGritty #BlackKidsLoveMath #lausd #nctm #ncsm #bwxme #nabse #aasa #math #studentachievement #equity #resilience #gritintheclassroom #california
Spiritual Grit in Hard Times – Let’s Get Gritty Podcast Ep. 104 Recap We’re back with another powerful episode of the *Let’s Get Gritty Podcast*—and Episode 104 is one you don’t want to miss! In this special episode, we were joined by Apostle Andre Aris, Minister Ernestine, and a powerful audience of believers as we dove deep into the topic of spiritual grit during hard times. What is spiritual grit, and why does it matter? It’s that unshakable faith, perseverance, and strength we hold onto when life gets tough—when storms come, doors close, or we feel like giving up. In this episode, our guests shared raw, honest testimonies** of times they had to stand firm, trust God, and keep moving forward in the face of adversity. 💬 Highlights from the episode include: - Apostle Andre Aris encouraging listeners to "grit up spiritually" and hold onto their calling even when the path gets rocky. - Minister Ernestine reminding parents and community members that our trials are often the training grounds for our greatest breakthroughs. - Real talk with the audience—parents, students, and educators—about how to navigate faith, struggle, and purpose in everyday life. 🎧 Whether you're a teacher, a parent, a student, or a leader in your community, this episode is filled with wisdom, encouragement, and spiritual strength for the journey ahead. 👉 Listen to Episode 104 now on the Let’s Get Gritty Podcast (Available on all major platforms – don’t forget to subscribe!) Let’s keep pressing forward with faith, resilience, and purpose. Let’s Get Gritty—Spiritually! #LetsGetGritty #SpiritualGrit #FaithInHardTimes #TestimonyTuesday #PodcastRecap #DrIndiaWhite #PersevereWithPurpose #GritAndGrace #FaithAndGrit
Ready for the New School Year? Check Out What’s New with Dr. India White! Hey educators, leaders, and families! I’m thrilled to share my latest July newsletter, packed with exciting updates, upcoming speaking engagements, and opportunities for collaboration. As we gear up for a brand-new school year, there’s no better time to focus on what matters most—building GRIT, empowering students, and transforming education. Here’s what you’ll find inside: 🎤 Upcoming Speaking Engagements This year, I’m honored to speak at some incredible conferences and events, including: -Black Kids Love Math – 2nd Annual Math Summit -NCTM (National Council of Teachers of Mathematics) Annual Conference -NCSM (National Council of Supervisors of Mathematics) Leadership Conference ...and many more across the country! Whether you’re a teacher, school leader, or educational organization looking to ignite your audience, now is the time to book me for your next keynote, PD session, or summit. Let’s make this year powerful and purpose-driven. 🎓 Enroll Your Students in the GRIT Academy Looking for a way to support your students beyond the classroom? The GRIT Academy is now enrolling students nationwide! Our certified tutors specialize in STEM and help students not only master academic content, but also develop growth mindset, resilience, self-efficacy, and time management—the key pillars of the GRIT framework. ✨ Let’s Work Together I’d love to partner with you to empower your students, staff, or district. Check out the newsletter, explore the opportunities, and reach out to book a session or enroll your students today. 📬 Click here to view the newsletter: Let’s get gritty and make this school year the best one yet! #LetsGetGritty #GritAcademy #EducationMatters #MathEquity #BackToSchool #KeynoteSpeaker #STEMSuccess #DrIndiaWhite
🎙️ Let’s Get Gritty: How Grit Carried Alexander Rivera Across the Graduation Stage This week’s episode of the Let’s Get Gritty podcast is one you don’t want to miss. We had the incredible honor of sitting down with Alexander Rivera, a recent high school graduate who beat the odds with one powerful trait—GRIT. Alexander’s story is more than just a celebration of academic achievement. It’s a living testament to how resilience, perseverance, and the right support system can transform a young life. In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, Alexander shares how Dr. India White’s G.R.I.T. framework—which focuses on Growth Mindset, Resilience, Self-Efficacy, and Time Management—helped him push through obstacles that once seemed insurmountable. 🎓 From Setbacks to Success Alexander opens up about the challenges he faced during his educational journey, from personal struggles to academic hurdles. But instead of giving up, he pressed forward—step by gritty step. He attributes much of his transformation to learning how to: *Develop a growth mindset when failure felt final * Bounce back with resilience after every setback * Believe in his own ability even when others doubted * Manage his time intentionally to meet his goals With this mindset, and through the support of educators and mentors who believed in him, Alexander proudly walked the graduation stage this week—a moment he once thought would never come. 🍎 Nuggets of Wisdom for Educators, Families & Leaders In the episode, Alexander doesn’t just share his story—he delivers gold. He offers practical advice for: * Teachers: “Don’t give up on students. See past their struggle and speak to their potential. It’s your voice that sticks in our heads.” * Students: “You’re not alone. Keep pushing. Grit isn't about perfection—it's about consistency.” * Parents: “Your encouragement matters more than you realize. Even if your child doesn’t say it, they hear you.” * Principals & Superintendents: “Create opportunities for students to recover, grow, and prove themselves. Every student deserves a second chance—and sometimes a third.” 🙏 Gratitude and Paying It Forward Alexander shares his deep gratitude to Dr. India White for her mentorship, wisdom, and for showing him what it looks like to lead with grit. He also gives heartfelt thanks to The Honorable Susan Valdes, who stood by him and helped pave a path for his success. But Alexander isn’t stopping here. He’s committed to paying it forward—to becoming an educator who pours into the next generation, just as others did for him. His goal? To help students not just survive school, but thrive with grit. 💥 Final Thoughts Alexander Rivera reminds us that grit is not reserved for the gifted—it’s grown in the trenches of trial. His journey encourages us all to see every student as capable of greatness, if we’re willing to support, uplift, and believe in them—relentlessly. 👏 Tune in to this powerful episode of Let’s Get Gritty to hear Alexander’s full story. Then ask yourself: How can I help build grit in someone today? 🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. \#LetsGetGritty #GRIT #StudentSuccess #DrIndiaWhite #AlexanderRivera #PayItForward #GritInEducation #GraduationVictory #BuildingGRIT