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Coping with Shame
India White • Feb 10, 2022
Coping with Shame...
The SHAME of It All- Dr. India White
Mark 8:38- Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.
Question: Wouldn’t it be sad to be a believer, witness or a minister of the gospel, and fall short of acceptance into the gates of heaven because you caused God shame?
Shame
is defined in the dictionary as, “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior” or “a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honor.”
To have shame towards someone is to be overall disappointed with them. This can be caused from their actions, things you’ve heard about them, and even from various unknown and known biases that you may have towards that person for specific or general reasons.
Through shame, people are unfortunately categorized and silenced. They can become the main topic of gossip. Through shame, people are “buried under the rug”. Shame is an emotional demotion in a social group or setting. Nobody likes shame, but there has been much shame dished out by many due to several reasons. However, millions are coping with shame with no way out. How can they be helped?
When esteeming the worth of an individual, leaders look at their background, what they know or heard about their character. Some leaders can categorize people through shame, can unknowingly hurt people. As people cope with shame, they live in hurt and have no answers. Sometimes, it's without cause.
Through various forms of judgment, shame happens, and rejection enters the picture. Great people who have wonderful hearts endure a silent sense of shame and rejection at the benefit of those around them. Shame can become a burden as they learn to cope with it. Is this right? Of course not.
Through shame, people suffer anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and more. When people who suffer from shame trust in leaders, mentors, pastors, spiritual leaders to help them to start a fresh life, the last thing they should encounter is a sense of shame. They should feel a sense of belonging, a high level of trust, lack of biases, and agape love. However, when leaders are unequipped about how to help others cope, judgement and shame remain in the way.
I want to take you back to the concept of shame in Mark 8. When shame is present, it does not leave a great impression or after effect that occurs during a meeting or transaction with individuals who are receiving the shame. Shame is never a great feeling, and this is why the Lord himself called out the fact that people who put him through shame while they are on this earth will experience that same amount of shame in judgment. Hence, as leaders, we must be careful to make sure that we are not ashamed of the Lord, and or other believers. Our purpose as believers is to help those who have fallen and are wounded to cope.
When we are dealing with the people of God, it is vital to handle everyone with caution. Remember, God is spirit. We sometimes forget this and categorize him as American, "one of the boys", or one of the favored that we fellowship with. However, we must be careful that we are not deceived. God is not a respecter of persons, and is not pleased as some saints live under the burden of shame. Could we bring God shame as we interact with believers and are too ashamed to fellowship with them? Could we bring God shame because we are afraid to tell others about our testimony? Or, what about the fact that some are afraid to assist believers and help believers that have fallen, look different from them and more? To be honest, I do think that this partiality is not of God and can cause any believer to fall short. Therefore, we must be careful to protect and build each other. We must be proactive at helping people cope with and overcome a feeling of shame.
If you have been called to lead in the kingdom of God as a part of the 5-fold ministry, you WILL give an account for everyone God sent to you and what you did to BUILD them. If you were ashamed of them because of various reasons, then you WILL have to face GOD. God will allow you to play church games, and please the crowd; but judgement will come. Here are some tips to avoid the judgment of God and escape the shame of it all:
1. Do away with Biases
a. We all have biases; however, we must be intentional as believers to put these behind us. Take a look at Harvard’s implicit bias test and see what biases you have. Then, follow a plan of action to help you with becoming fair towards EVERYONE.
2. Humble yourself
a. Just because you have been esteemed into a role of ministry or leadership does not mean that you will escape the judgement of God. Scripture says in Luke 12:48 that to “whom much is given, much is required.”
3. Embrace Differences
a. Whether diversity, socioeconomic differences, academic differences and more, choose to embrace the good in everyone that God brings to you. Be delivered from the mindset that these people “don’t matter” more than those people.
4. Pray About Change
a. Sometimes, God can send so many people that you don’t know where to begin. Pray about how to do the will of God towards everyone and how you can cultivate change for the good.
5. Forgive Shortcomings, Pick up Empathy
a. It can be tough to forgive people who "know better" for character flaws, and mishaps in life. However, through forgiveness and empathy, the love of God can begin to warm your heart as you assist them in becoming all that God has designed for them to be. Scripture states in Romans 3:23 that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."
I hope that you can be strengthened and encouraged as you look to escape ministry out of a lens of shame towards others, and how you can be successful in the kingdom of God as you accept everyone. In doing so, may you also escape the shame of it all while restoring believers in the kingdom of God. May we all hear well done, and not be greeted in shame as we face the Lord.
‼️So grateful for the opportunity to hear testimonials and reviews from a few rockstar educators about their takeaways and experiences from my Equitable math 🧮 practices session at MCTM in Minnesota this weekend🤩! It's inspiring to hear teachers who provide feedback and work to close the achievement gap. 🥰Let's continue learning from each other and making a difference in the lives of our students! #teacherappreciation #education #equitablemath #achievementgap #drindiawhite #teachers #tedx #equity Check out the session highlights here:
‼️Listen as a gritty Middle Eastern teacher explains how attending my Equity Keynote at the Math conference, helped her connect her experience as a BIPOC educator with her perspective on how to implement equitable practices for all students and relate to students of different cultures! #drindiawhite #tedx #equity #dei #math #education #teachers #students #bipoc #savvas #nctm #ncsm #bwxme #nabse #habse #uf
I urge you to take a moment to listen to Dr. India White's enlightening TEDx talk, "The Power of Grit," where she delves into what drives grit in the lives of leaders, teachers, and students every day. In this captivating presentation, Dr. White offers invaluable insights into the transformative potential of grit—the unwavering determination and resilience that propel individuals toward their goals, even in the face of adversity. As educators and leaders, we play a pivotal role in instilling and nurturing grit among our students and colleagues. Dr. White's talk serves as a powerful reminder of the impact we can have when we cultivate grit within ourselves and those we influence. I encourage you to watch the TEDx talk for a deeper understanding of how grit can drive success in our classrooms, workplaces, and lives.
I am beyond grateful and honored to have the opportunity to speak at UF's Alumni Gainesville reception and share the powerful message of grit with the new graduates from the University of Florida. As leaders, we have a unique platform and responsibility to inspire and empower the next generation as they embark on their journey beyond the university walls. Grit is more than just a buzzword; it is the unwavering determination and resilience that propel individuals toward their goals, even in the face of adversity. It's about facing challenges head-on, embracing failures as opportunities for growth, and never giving up on our dreams. Today, as we gather to celebrate the achievements of these remarkable graduates, let us remind them of the power they hold within themselves. Let us encourage them to cultivate grit in all aspects of their lives, knowing that with perseverance and determination, they can overcome any obstacle and achieve their wildest dreams. As leaders, let us lead by example, showing gratitude for the opportunities we've been given and inspiring others to do the same. Let us use our voices to uplift and encourage those around us, knowing that together, we can create a brighter and more resilient future for all. Congratulations to the graduates of the University of Florida! May your journey be filled with grit, determination, and endless possibilities.
I am beyond grateful and honored to have the opportunity to speak at UF's Young Alumni reception and share the powerful message of grit with the new graduates from the University of Florida. As leaders, we have a unique platform and responsibility to inspire and empower the next generation as they embark on their journey beyond the university walls. Grit is more than just a buzzword; it is the unwavering determination and resilience that propel individuals toward their goals, even in the face of adversity. It's about facing challenges head-on, embracing failures as opportunities for growth, and never giving up on our dreams. Today, as we gather to celebrate the achievements of these remarkable graduates, let us remind them of the power they hold within themselves. Let us encourage them to cultivate grit in all aspects of their lives, knowing that with perseverance and determination, they can overcome any obstacle and achieve their wildest dreams. As leaders, let us lead by example, showing gratitude for the opportunities we've been given and inspiring others to do the same. Let us use our voices to uplift and encourage those around us, knowing that together, we can create a brighter and more resilient future for all. Congratulations to the graduates of the University of Florida! May your journey be filled with grit, determination, and endless possibilities.
Join us on the Grit and Equity Talks Podcast with Dr. India White, where we will discuss spaced vs. mass practice for teachers! Visit www.india-white.com for more information #drindiawhite #grit #equity
🥳As the opening keynote at the WMC Annual conference, I had the opportunity to discuss equitable math practices with teachers. I am grateful to have gifted 30 copies of the Equity Counts book collaboration after my session! 🤩Thanks to Savvas Learning Company for making this happen🥰. The best is yet to come for Wisconsin teachers and students! #EquitableMath #Education #EquityCounts #savvas #drindiawhite #tedx #equity #WisconsinTeachers #StudentSuccess #wismath24 #nctm #ncsm… See more — at On Green Lake in Wisconsin.
Hanging out wit the tribe! I had the honor of being the opening keynote speaker at @WisMathCouncil 🤩 We applied the concept of grit in their classroom! Thanks to @SavvasLearning!! #drindiawhite #math #grit #student #teachers @wismathcouncil #wismath24 #SAVVAS #nctm #ncsm #bwxme
This morning, I had the honor of being the opening keynote speaker at WMC's Annual Math Conference. 🤩The conference was a great success, with attendees discussing the importance of grit in both teachers and students. I’m excited to see Wisconsin teachers apply the concept of grit in their classrooms and help their students develop this crucial! Thanks to Savvas Learning Company for the support and encouragement!! #drindiawhite #math #grit #student #teachers @wismathcouncil #wismath24 #SAVVAS #nctm #ncsm #bwxme
‼️Attention all Wisconsin teachers! Are you ready to enhance your teaching skills and help your students develop their grit😃? If so, don't miss out on the opportunity to purchase my Grit Workbook at a discounted price! 🤗I have 50 copies available at WMC, so come and grab your copy this week🤩! #wismath2024 #nctm #ncsm #drindiawhite #grit #education #students #teachers #wismath2024 #nctm #ncsm #drindiawhite #grit #education #students #teachers