Question: Wouldn’t it be sad to be a believer, witness or a minister of the gospel, and fall short of acceptance into the gates of heaven because you caused God shame?

Shame is defined in the dictionary as, “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior” or “a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honor.” 

To have shame towards someone is to be overall disappointed  with them. This can be caused from their actions, things you’ve heard about them, and even from various unknown and known biases that you may have towards that person for specific or general reasons.

Through shame, people are unfortunately categorized and silenced. They can become the main topic of gossip. Through shame, people are “buried under the rug”. Shame is an emotional demotion in a social group or setting. Nobody likes shame, but there has been much shame dished out by many due to several reasons. However, millions are coping with shame with no way out. How can they be helped?

When esteeming the worth of an individual, leaders look at their background, what they know or heard about their character. Some leaders can categorize people through shame, can unknowingly hurt people. As people cope with shame, they live in hurt and have no answers. Sometimes, it's without cause. 

Through various forms of judgment, shame happens, and rejection enters the picture. Great people who have wonderful hearts endure a silent sense of shame and rejection at the benefit of those around them. Shame can become a burden as they learn to cope with it. Is this right? Of course not.

Through shame, people suffer anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and more. When people who suffer from shame trust in leaders, mentors, pastors, spiritual leaders to help them to start a fresh life, the last thing they should encounter is a sense of shame. They should feel a sense of belonging, a high level of trust, lack of biases, and agape love. However, when leaders are unequipped about how to help others cope, judgement and shame remain in the way. 

I want to take you back to the concept of shame in Mark 8. When shame is present, it does not leave a great impression or after effect that occurs during a meeting or transaction with individuals who are receiving the shame. Shame is never a great feeling, and this is why the Lord himself called out the fact that people who put him through shame while they are on this earth will experience that same amount of shame in judgment. Hence, as leaders, we must be careful to make sure that we are not ashamed of the Lord, and or other believers. Our purpose as believers is to help those who have fallen and are wounded to cope. 

When we are dealing with the people of God, it is vital to handle everyone with caution. Remember, God is spirit. We sometimes forget this and categorize him as American, "one of the boys", or one of the favored that we fellowship with. However, we must be careful that we are not deceived. God is not a respecter of persons, and is not pleased as some saints live under the burden of shame. Could we bring God shame as we interact with believers and are too ashamed to fellowship with them? Could we bring God shame because we are afraid to tell others about our testimony? Or, what about the fact that some are afraid to assist believers and help believers that have fallen, look different from them and more? To be honest, I do think that this partiality is not of God and can cause any believer to fall short. Therefore, we must be careful to protect and build each other. We must be proactive at helping people cope with and overcome a feeling of shame.

If you have been called to lead in the kingdom of God as a part of the 5-fold ministry, you WILL give an account for everyone God sent to you and what you did to BUILD them. If you were ashamed of them because of various reasons, then you WILL have to face GOD. God will allow you to play church games, and please the crowd; but judgement will come. Here are some tips to avoid the judgment of God and escape the shame of it all:

a. We all have biases; however, we must be intentional as believers to put these behind us. Take a look at Harvard’s implicit bias test and see what biases you have. Then, follow a plan of action to help you with becoming fair towards EVERYONE.

a. Just because you have been esteemed into a role of ministry or leadership does not mean that you will escape the judgement of God. Scripture says in Luke 12:48 that to “whom much is given, much is required.” 

a. Whether diversity, socioeconomic differences, academic differences and more, choose to embrace the good in everyone that God brings to you. Be delivered from the mindset that these people “don’t matter” more than those people. 

a. Sometimes, God can send so many people that you don’t know where to begin. Pray about how to do the will of God towards everyone and how you can cultivate change for the good. 

a. It can be tough to forgive people who "know better" for character flaws, and mishaps in life. However, through forgiveness and empathy, the love of God can begin to warm your heart as you assist them in becoming all that God has designed for them to be. Scripture states in Romans 3:23 that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

I hope that you can be strengthened and encouraged as you look to escape ministry out of a lens of shame towards others, and how you can be successful in the kingdom of God as you accept everyone. In doing so, may you also escape the shame of it all while restoring believers in the kingdom of God. May we all hear well done, and not be greeted in shame as we face the Lord.