Detoxing from ABUSE- Dr. India White

     Abuse is defined as, “use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse; treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.”

     So many times, we’ve seen ads on the internet regarding domestic violence. Usually there is a woman that is curled up, who has just taken a blow in the face. These ads typically make people feel bad, and they try to figure out how they can help those in their inner circles who are being mistreated. Children also are told to report any mistreatment to officials at schools, and educators are mandated reporters.

     Everyone knows abuse is just…wrong. However, not all abuse or mistreatment is physical. Much abuse is mental and emotional. This can be in the form of taunting, name calling, bullying, blackmailing, ignoring, racism, unfair wages, stealing from others what is rightfully theirs for someone else’s profit, and the list continues.

     We know that we are valuable as individuals. However, to “fit in” to this society, many have been persuaded that they have to suffer at the hands of various abusers. People tolerate those who desire to tear them down and deceive them just to have “acceptance”. Then, they walk away from that transaction, feeling ashamed, humiliated, and tricked out of what was theirs.

     This can happen in business, institutions, church organizations, schools and more. This abuse is no respecter of persons, and it happens more often than not. The sly abuser will usually approach you with a smile. No harm intended they will say. However, they will slander your name, rip you off, steal from you your ideas, and will leave you high and dry. Then, they’ll smile at you and say, “We’ll see you next time!”

     My question is, “When is enough…enough?” When will the abuser see that they are wrong?” The unfortunate answer is, “It will never be enough.” You see, abusers will take from you as long as you allow them to, no matter what their title is. Abusers can be business leaders, pastors, professors, teachers and more. This is why people are shocked when they read about some mishap in the community, and they wonder how “that” person got caught up into it. Abusers are in every area, some are just tougher to spot.

     I can recall several incidences where people will approach me to support, speak, lead…however, they had a hidden agenda. They wanted to profit off of my talent, my story, and I wouldn’t receive a dime. Or they used me because I helped them “appear” to have diversity. Some people just wanted a conversation so they could build their businesses from my ideas. However, I didn’t realize that I was surrounded by abuse, until I pulled back enough to realize that I did not gain, but I was taken advantage of. It just didn’t feel right once I left them. I share this because I want everyone reading this to know that you have probably encountered someone that has been through something similar, and I want to help give strategies to help detox from abuse.

Here are some tips to detox from abuse:

1.    Cut off their energy

      If you have noticed that someone, or a business leader, a church leader continues to use you, manipulate you, take advantage of you, and you always feel burned out, rejected, humiliated after you leave them…cut them off. Your “vibes” are not lying; something is not right, and you deserve to feel love. If you know someone is going through the same situation, help provide them the supports they need so they too can be free from the manipulation, mind control, false love, and overall abuse.

2.    Forgive Them

      At the end of it all, abusers are really going to lose out in the end. They may profit now, but everyone has a day in which they will give an account. Hence, forgive them so you can move forward and heal. Throughout the bible are plethora of examples of people who were abusers. There was the story of Saul and David. Saul was jealous of David, who was younger than him and chosen. Hence, he would smile in David’s face and then try to kill him. He was so miserable with David, that he never supported David in anything he did. His entire time knowing David, he aimed to destroy him. Scripture talks about the thief will come to steal, kill, and to destroy. However, God came so that you would have life and that more abundantly (John 10:10). Hence, choose to forgive, and keep God in the midst of your heart and enjoy your peace.

3.    Start Fresh

      It is okay to take the same ideas that others stole from you, and start a new thing! It’s okay to cut off toxic people and groups, and start over! You do not have to explain yourself to anyone. You are accountable to God. Choose to start fresh. You are only one person, and the last thing you need is to be so bent up emotionally from abuse, stress, manipulation, control and false love that you can’t see the good in your life. Cut off the negativity and start fresh.

4.    Choose to have JOY

      Scripture speaks about how God will give you joy unspeakable and full of glory. This is great to know because it keeps you focused on where your true joy comes from. It’s not in digital currency, and it’s not it the things of this world. Joy is not in false friendships, and control and manipulated relationships. Joy happens whenever you have a peace in your mind and spirit that you are fulfilling the purpose that God has for you, and that you are being sustained by God. Joy is when you know you have done right by others and can sleep at night. This is something that you and I cannot fabricate. People try to replace joy with events, parties, yoga, incense, and more; however, joy comes from above.

Conclusion

           You were not made to be abused; you were made to be loved and to soar. Hence, take off the cloak of abuse. Forgive those who mishandled you and cut off their negative energy. Choose to start fresh and always keep your joy. The best is yet to come, so detox from their abuse, and continue to soar forward. May God be with you!